Sunday, October 24, 2010

Wolf T-shirt Sighting # 3: The ‘Wal-Mart Lone Wolf’


Wolf shirt quality: 6, No moon, no howling. Still above average, but doesn’t have those pieces that can take it even higher.


Originality: 8, We can very quickly determine that this photo was taken outside of a Wal-Mart, stealth was needed in taking this photo.


Luminosity: 7, One wolf on the t-shirt and the man is shopping along. Coincidence? I think not.


Veritas: 10, This is not a joke folks. Between the shirt and the dreamwolf-catcher stickers on the back of his car we know that this man is serious.


Ecosystem: 8, Arkansas. The only state that is 2 letters better than Kansas.


Sentience: 3, Between the Powerade Lite and bag of McDonalds I think we can tell that this wolf t-shirt wearer does not catch and eat his own meat.


How many wolf shirts?: 6, I’m actually going to go against the rating system here and give him slightly above average. There is only one shirt, but he is exemplifying the idea of the Lone Wolf with his t-shirt and his actions.


Ordnance: 7, neither amazing, nor terrible. The car stickers definitely give him a boost as he is representing wolves at all times.


Wildness: 3, not wild at all. Shopping cart, Wal-Mart.


Lupine-like: 7, White hair and beard, closely resembles the wizened Lone Wolf.


WOLVES HOWL: 65 points.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Anime: Wolf's Rain Toboe's Death

This heart wrenching anime Wolf movie can only be described as incredible.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Russia: Cop Jumps in Car to Avoid Wolves

You read it right. Now check it out.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Wild Animus : A Book to Read

I was giving the a book called Wild Animus the other day, because of my love of wolves. I went online to do some research about it and found the following. Please reply with any knowledge or experience that you have from the book.

I have not yet had the opportunity to read the book, but I will say that it has already lost some potential in my books for the simple fact that is read by Peter Coyote. Coyote?! Really!? It couldn't be a wolf related name. As for some more information about the book please keep reading.

"Rich Shapero’s Wild Animus is the story of a young idealist, Ransom Altman, whose quest for fundamentals drives him to the Alaskan wilderness where, alone with his dangerous ideas, he transforms himself into a wild creature prey to a strangely familiar pack of wolves."

The most pertinent book review for Wild Animus is the following:

5.0 out of 5 stars EXCELLENT multi-use tool!, February 27, 2005
This review is from: Wild Animus: A Novel (Paperback)
I, like many others, received this book for free. But unlike others, I found this book a delight to have around the house.

It served quite well as a monitor riser for my LCD screen.

My friend and I needed a book to add weight for a tofu press.

Pages 200 to 225 made wonderful firestarters when covered in paraffin wax.

One night, we took the cover and walked around the downtown Seattle area hiding our faces behind it and saying "Wooo, wolf eyes, scawwy wolf eyes", while three people behind us kept asking people "Have you seen the walruses?" in Scooby-Doo voices.

One night we drank too much and began reading the worst prose we could find in voices like Darth Vader and Mickey Mouse over a microphone to loud techno music. People apparently loved this prose more than Lynne Cheney's book on lesbian sexual relationships.

The cat ate pages 123 to 127 when we ran out of catgrass for him to chew.

The door below sometimes slams shut when coming in and out of the apartment, so rather than going out to buy a doorstop, we use the book!

Every so often you can pick a random phrase out of it that makes you howl with laughter.

Handing it to someone who's taken more than six hits of acid in their lifetime and asking them whether it's accurate in the description is highly amusing - especially when you get their faces to screw up like you've just asked them to kill the baby Jesus with a rusty spork.

It is an excellent candidate for book frisbee on a sunny afternoon in the park.

I take it with me when camping in the case that I run out of toilet paper.

Gosh, I'm sure I could find more excellent uses for this most entertaining book. If paper cuts were something desired, I'm sure you could add that as a bonus, since the cheap paper on the books provides HUNDREDS of those to the reader.

However, you might not want to expose your cortex to the language. It puts me in mind of the Douglas Adams characters, the Vogons, whose poetry is only the third worst in the galaxy. That, in of itself, is a distinction.

Like the movie Showgirls, this book is so jaw-droppingly bad that it's an entertaining read just to see how badly a book COULD be written. It's not just a gigantic cliche, it's a cliched parody of every 1960s novel or poem written by every poet or writer seeking truth within the American experience.

So if nothing else, it's a marvelous book to be used for anything except reading.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

A Man Among Wolves

How did I miss this? Best show ever created.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Wolf Pack for Life: NASCAR Edition

This past weekend I took part in one of America's great time honored traditions. I went to Richmond, Virginia to watch Denny Hamlin win the Richmond 400 NASCAR race. I know many of you are thinking 'NASCAR really?!' Many of you probably think of the following t-shirt when you think of NASCAR. After experiencing the full tailgate and race I will have to respectfully disagree with those who think that NASCAR is boring.

NASCAR is awesome. People are tailgating, playing cornhole, eating BBQ, and talking smack to people who support other drivers. The one thing that you need to know going in is that you have to have a driver. If you just attempt to watch the entire race you will be entirely lost, you also want have a cadre of fans to support you. You will additionally have someone to follow around in ovals the entire race. During most of the race I followed the '17' car. I chose this car for no other reason than the fact that it was my number during high school soccer, and well, it was the Crown Royal car.

The main reason that I have yet to chose the driver that I will support for the rest of my life is because I haven't yet determined which driver has the most wolf t-shirt wears in the last year. As a first timer I also didn't want to stick out from the crowd, so I attempted to dress most like what I perceived a NASCAR fan to be. I like to call it a cross between the Wal-Mart special and Bret from 'Flight of the Conchords'


It was a simple combination of wolf t-shirt (w/moon) self-made jorts, Navy hat and the exact same vest Bret is wearing in this great jump scene. While wearing this superb outfit I found it extremely easy to make friends. As soon as people saw the wolf t-shirt they knew that I was both cool and tough. Reflecting on this fact makes me realize that most people are likely very nervous to talk to someone wearing such attire. This is why most people, instead of approaching me, pointed to their friend and whispered something in their ear. The conversation probably went something like this:

Friend 1: Do you see that guy with a wolf t-shirt?
Friend 2: Yeah, he is the coolest and toughest guy here.
Friend 1: That's what I was going to say, do you think he would like to be the father of my children?
Friend 2: Not to be mean (hot friend), but you can't just walk up to a guy like that.
Friend 1: You're right, we should just take a picture and laugh to ourselves so that he thinks we're funny.
Friend 2: Great idea!

All that considered there was still one person who decided to approach me in my coolest and toughtest moment. While I was exiting the port-a-potty. A random man yelled 'WOLF PACK FOR LIFE' and proceeded to make a wolf hand signal. I echoed the greeting and we have since become pack brothers for life. Thank you wolf t-shirts, thank you for making new friends for me.
-One Man.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Driving to work...

Saw this on my way into work this morning.

Truly an amazing work of art. It's kind of like saying 'I only tow awesome shit'. There are of course downsides, (1) Lack of Howling (2) Lack of Moon. Irregardless, the wolf protects this Isuzu Ascender day in and day out.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Full Moon


This coming Monday, we will have another full-moon social. In the promotion of rhyming I have dubbed the occasion Monday night delight.

We will, obviously, be wearing wolf t-shirts and howling our hearts out. It should look something like the below picture. Although, that's only the case if you have a non-digital camera. For some reason digital cameras weren't built with the awesomeness to take such photos we're hoping the technology will catch up in at least the next 163 years.




Pictures are worth 1 million words...



Words will never do justice to how awesome this is. The only other thing I will say about this phenomenal matter is that it has forced me to create a new page on the blog for 'Wolf Tattoo Sightings'








Thursday, July 15, 2010

Alpha and Omega : Disney does it again!


Will certainly be watching the midnight showing of this. Does Disney do midnight showings?

Can anyone think of the other great wolf movie?

Friday, June 18, 2010

Business Cards

In the past couple weeks I have seen several wolf t's while out at dinner. The first sighting occurred in California Pizza Kitchen and the second in Chipotle. Both times I was unable to pull out my camera and take a picture before they disappeared. I have since decided that I need business cards so that I can stop them, take a photo and discuss on the blog. I have two choices.

Choice #1:
Choice #2:
Being that it is important to get the views of the pack I am obviously leaving this important decision up to you, the reader.

-One Man. One Moon.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Before there was sunscreen...

I received the following pictures at my 1man1moon1dream@gmail.com account:

It was entitled: 'Before Wolf Shirts' I did some research and actually discovered that this magnificent specimen not only pre-dates wolf t-shirts. More surprisingly, it pre-dates sunscreen.

Back in the days of our forefathers they didn't have this sissy crap to put on your shoulders. You had to kill a beast to cover your head and shoulders. With the onslaught of hunting laws, animal rights activists and wusses who couldn't hunt we saw the sunscreen market move in. Due to the extreme profits of the 'can you get my back' sunscreen market we have seen a drastic decrease in these sunblocking wolves.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

To Moon

After a hotly contested survey our respondents have answered the question of whether or not it is better to wear a wolf t-shirt with or without a moon.


90% in favor of the Moon. (9 of 10 votes)
10% in favor of the Moon-less. (1 of 10 votes)

There were actually 11 votes in this survey. 9 for Moons and 2 for Moon-less, but due to some personal feedback I changed the results.

My friend stated that because only 1 of the points was 'valid' he was voting for Moon-less shirts simply as a matter of the t-shirt discrimination. As a firm believer in free-speech and ardent supporter of informed discussion I chose to take out this biased vote. I instead offer this individual the opportunity to write a column on the merits of a moon-less wolf t-shirt.

It is one thing to disagree, but quite another to vote for something as a matter of spite. When you vote for the President of the United States of America you vote for the candidate that you believe in, not the candidate that sucks less than the others. If you don't believe in any then you abstain and tell the candidates (through your abstention) that they need to work harder to get your vote.

Wolf t-shirts are no different. If you are not convinced that Moons are better than Moon-less then post a comment, ask a question. If you are convinced that Moon-less shirts are superior than email me your guest column and it may make the cut.

Wolf t-shirts, moon or no moon, are not about spite. They are about uniting people for a common cause of awesomeness. Irregardless, the people have voted and you have said that in the matter of Moon v. Moon-less.

Moon is the clear and decisive winner. Howl on my friends. Howl on.

-One Man. One Moon.





Thursday, May 27, 2010

Full Moon Socials

For those of you that follow your lunar calendar religiously you will already know that tonight, May 27th, 2010 is a Full Moon.



Being that the Moon is on the opposite side of the Earth as compared to the sun. We will be celebrating by wearing wolf t's, enjoy the company of the pack and socializing.

Tonight we will be converging on Blue Mountain Brewery. Please join us...and don't forget your shirt.

-One Man. One Moon.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Videos you need to watch: 1st Edition

Auto-tuned wolves.


Things that would be awesome. A musical t-shirt with this song on it.
-One Man. One Moon.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Guest Column: To Moon or Not To Moon? That is the question

A startling trend has started to gain speed in the wolf t-shirt world, wolf t-shirts without a moon.

I am a reasonable man, but come on a wolf t-shirt with no moon?! What's next, club shirts without giant air-brushed anime characters?

I could go on and on all day about how stupid moonless wolf t-shirts are, but I think it is a better use of all of our time if I would present my thesis on why wolf t-shirts with moons are vastly superior to those without moons.

I will break down my argument into three areas.
  1. Demeanor of the subjects
  2. Wearability of the garment
  3. Owners of the shirts
Before I being it should be known that while I will not actually site any research on this subject, that I could if I had wanted too. There really is no point because this is such a one-sided argument. It's like having a discussion on what is better a bacon cheese burger or a regular cheese burger. No one (outside of maybe a French dude) would even bother talking about this. Now if you are saying, 'You didn't say which one is better,' then you, my friend, need to stop reading this right now.

1. Demeanor of the subjects: For the laymen out there this means how cool are the wolves on the t-shirt in question. I could spend all day writing a bunch of of fancy words, but this is America and we have pictures and they are worth a thousand wards (incase that isn't a enough I have added captions).

Wolf T-shirts with Moon

Exhibit A:
















Look at this bad mama-jama. He is like 'What's up, I'm just gonna chill here for a while...and did I mention that I frickin' glow!'

Exhibit B:















Look at these dudes. They are like 'Yeah I am standing on a rock, a bitchin' rock!

Exhibit C:
















Moon t-shirts wolves have mad game. This guy is all like 'Mmmm baby your hair smells so nice, almost as nice as that moose carcass I was rolling in last week.' All I'm saying is someone ain't calling her for breakfast, no that smooth operator is nudgin' her.

Moon-less Wolf T-shirts
Exhibit D:
















Please these tools are all like 'What do you wanna do tonight?' 'I don't know why don't we just stand here like a couple of assholes?'

Exhibit E:
















Yup, you are seeing that right. These two turds are smelling that other turd's fart.

Exhibit F:















No doubt, this boners favorite books is Twilight, and it's not because there are werewolves in the book. He's just sad that there aren't any more books in the series. Sissy.

So there we have it, wolves on moon t-shirts are awesome. Wolves on moon-less t-shirts smell farts and read girl books.

Score:
Moon - 1
Moon-less - 0

2. Wearability of the Garment:

















Would you wear this? I feel silly even asking such a question. Of course you would. Everyone would.




















Would you wear this? Of course not. If i even saw someone in this shirt I would slap them, then I would slap their mothe...you get the point.

No contest, moon t-shirts in a walk.
Score:
Moon - 2
Moon-less - 0

3. Owners of the Shirts: Wearers of Moon T-shirts v. Wearers of Moon-less T-shirts

I used a high-tech super computer (and by that I mean my mind) to run a program that determines the typical individual who would wear the collected wolf t-shirts with a moon and the moon-less t-shirts used in this study. Here are the results.

Wolf t-shirts with Moons:


Moon-less Wolf T-shirts:


No contest.

Final Score:
Moon: 3
Moon-less: 0

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Why I love Wolf T-shirts? *Part 3 of 3*

This entry is about beginnings and endings. It's also about life and trying to gain a greater understanding of why it is we are here on this Earth. It's an ending of my story. My story of wolf t-shirt conversion. It's also a beginning. A beginning of a new chapter of my life. A chapter where I acknowledge all parts of myself. It's also an entry about understanding. Wolf t-shirts have helped me learn what life is about and the fate that we sometimes have to accept when we live in this world.

As I returned from Scotland and Ireland I was starting a new job in Virginia. I began the process of moving into my new house and driving my belongings from my dad's house in Missouri where I had dropped my belongings before my travels. In some ways I was a new and better person. I had finally begun to accept the wolven part of my personality. In other ways I was in a state of flux. New house, new job, new lifestyle. When I first arrived in Virginia I continued in my denials of wolf 't' love.

It wasn't until I took a trip to the Virginia State Fair that I fully realized that I had to accept my fate. As humans we constantly try and fight those things that we are fated for. My parents named me Darius after the Darius I (King of Persia). My middle name is Philip for Philip II, King of Macedonia and father of Alexander the Great.


The above photo most aptly shows the characteristics and important parts of each of our beings. Darius I ascended the Persian throne through assassination. He claimed the throne and created a new monetary system, supported freedom of religion, but also lost the Battle of Marathon. Philip II is not well known for what he did, but he sired the world's greatest general. Alexander the Great. He was fated not to be great, but to put forth and father one of the greatest men in the history of the world. As you can tell from my parents choice of name, I too am destined for greatness. For the longest time I wanted to choose my fate I wanted to grasp my heart's desire and mold the world to my will. I quickly realized that this is not possible, I have to realize that there are certain innate parts about me that will pull out my greatness. The one part that I denied for so long, is my greatness. My love, devotion and consideration of wolf t-shirts.

The Virginia State Fair can most aptly be described by deep fried snickers bars and The Zipper. If you have never been, then I must sincerely apologize to you for being 'oh, so lame'. Deep fried snickers bars are easy to comprehend and understand. Hot fatty chocolate grease. Or HFCG for short. The Zipper on the other hand is completely ridiculous. I've attached an image that will hopefully illustrate the death contraption. Basically you are strapped into a metal cage that spins 360 degrees, once you are put in this cage The Zipper spins moves you up, down and then spins you around until you throw-up streams of rainbow vomit.

We were making our way around the fair. Riding rides. Eating food. Admiring the beautiful and wonderfully gorgeous people. As we were walking around we noticed dozens upon dozens of American flag t-shirts. I mentioned this to some friends and came upon the topic of wolf t-shirts. My friends immediately said they could see me wearing a wolf t-shirt. I finally realized it was time. It was time for me to buy a wolf t-shirt.

I went home and on October 2nd, 2009 I bought Three Wolf moon. I've attached part of the Amazon receipt that I received:
Delivery estimate: October 7, 2009 - October 8, 2009
1 "Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt - Black (Medium)"
Apparel; $16.49
I was still unsure of my purchase. I wasn't sure if my friends would respect me, or even hang out with me. I then sat down and penned the following message to let a large group of my friends know that I had finally purchased a wolf shirt.

Gentlemen,


Being that you are all important dudes in my life I feel the need to share this with you. After much consideration, soul searching and discussion with friends I have made an important decision. This is something that I have been running from for too long. You all have seen this as obvious connection for a long time. I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to realize how my personality is inextricably linked to this. It wasn't really until Simmons and I had some discussions in Ireland that I realized the importance of this thing. As Simmons can attest, while talking with random English men this topic came up. It even came up as I walked around the Virginia State Fair with Jimmie, Harrison, Lautzy and Davis. I'm different, people realize it, but that's okay. Even more recently in talking with Ander I have come to the conclusion that I can no longer deny this part of me. I realize that I have been incredibly vague up to this point, but it's because I need your support on this and ask that you still consider me to be a friend.


I went online today and ordered a wolf t-shirt. I will no longer be the man that denies the fact that I truly love these shirts. They are a part of my being, my soul, my natural self. I don't care if I get made fun of. I don't care if they are ridiculous. They are freakin' awesome. I hope they have American flags. I hope they howl at the moon. I hope that people look at me and say 'holy shit, that guy has a wolf t-shirt'...mainly because I already know my response. Hooowww's it going? I have a new mission in life, at least a partial mission, to make wolf t-shirts legitimately cool. I'm a Wolverhampton soccer fan and I will wear wolf t-shirts in public. I ask that you continue to hang out with me and of course, forward me any excellent t-shirts you find.


As you can tell it was a challenging email to write. I wanted to be myself. I was no longer going to fight. I was accepting my fate. I received several emails of support and really the rest is history. As I reopened this part of my life I began to remember more instances in my life where wolves had a strong impact in my growth and development. That, of course, is yet another story. Irregardless, I had made the leap of faith. Trusting in myself and my friends I had decided that it was time to accept my fate. Philip II's fate was to give rise to the world's greatest general in Alexander the Great. Darius I loss at Marathon showed the Athenians that Persians were not invincible. That defeat doesn't erase his accomplishments, his moves towards religious freedom and tolerance. I thought that my destiny was politics, or academia. I have realized that my destiny is wolf t-shirts. My destiny is inextricably linked with the wolves that howl at the moon, wolves that are back-dropped with American flags and much much more. I'm neither angry nor saddened by my fate. Rather emboldened. Invigorated that I have a new purpose in life.


-One Man. One Moon.



Sunday, May 9, 2010

Wolf T-shirt Sightings : A Lesson in Eternal Vigilance

There are many things that wolves can teach us. One of those things is eternal vigilance. Failing to recognize the prey's scent. Mistiming a jump to rip out the jugular of a terrified elk. These are just several examples of little mistakes that can hurt a wolf's chance at survival. They must be eternally vigilant of their surroundings and further aware of their needs in life.

We need to do the same. That means noticing changes. 2 things on this website.
1. The Survey. My goal is to post one every week. This week is obviously 'What is your Favorite 'Three Wolf Moon' shirt? The pictures of the contestants are right below the header of the blog. Check them out and vote.
2. Wolf T-shirt Sightings. If you didn't notice this then let this be a lesson in heightening your senses. Clear that nose. Open those eyes. It's on the toolbar on the 'right'. The more important part about this is that for me to post pictures you will need to send them in. That means you can't attempt to be eternally vigilant when you are reading this blog, you have to be eternally vigilant at all times. You never know when you will see a wolf t-shirt. Keep an eye out and your hand on your camera. Take those photos and send them this way. We will also accept photos of friends and family.

To help provide a more objective way to judge submitted photos I went ahead and consulted with some Wolf T-shirt experts (myself) and came up with the following 100 point grading scale.

Wolf shirt quality: (0-10)
Originality: (0-10)
Luminosity: (0-10)
Veritas: (0-10)
Ecosystem: (0-10)
Sentience: (0-10)

How many wolf shirts?: (0-10)
Ordnance: (0-10)
Wildness: (0-10)
Lupine-like: (0-10)

To give you a better idea of how WOLVES HOWL works I'll give you a short description of each category.

Wolf shirt quality: This one is simple. How awesome is the shirt that they are wearing? Is it so terrifying that it will make small children cry? Will women be clamoring at your door when you put this thing on?

Originality: Looking at the whole photo on this one. Shirt. As well as what the people are doing in the picture. Is there a good pose? Was it clear that you had to be stealthy in taking the photo?

Luminosity: Does the photo shed light on how wolf t's affect our lives? Does it illuminate the phenomenon and why it is so vital and important to the human existence.

Veritas: How truthful are those in the photo. Is this a joke to them? Or are they serious. I don't like people who joke, and I certainly don't like when people joke about wolf t's.

Ecosystem: Where is the photo taken? Is it a bad ass environment? Are they in front of a famous building? Are they standing next to Barack Obama?

Sentience: Wolves are animals too. Does the photographer or the subject matter attempt to connect with the fact that wolves have emotions too?

How many shirts are there: Not hard. The more shirts. The more points.

Ordnance: Yes. Like ammunition. Can the photo be used to further the cause? Will it help promote wolf t-shirts and put more shirts out in the market.

Wildness: What are they doing in the picture? Are they being serious? Are they showing us other accessories and attributes that makes us realize that they are awesome?

Lupine-like: How close do they resemble or try to resembles wolves?

Stay vigilant pack brothers and sisters. Oh yeah, and don't forget to send those photos to 1man1moon1dream@gmail.com. Be sure to check out the Wolf T-shirt sighting page as their is already one posted and rated.

-One Man. One Moon.