Wolf T-shirt Sighting # 3: The ‘Wal-Mart Lone Wolf’
Wolf shirt quality: 6, No moon, no howling. Still above average, but doesn’t have those pieces that can take it even higher.
Originality: 8, We can very quickly determine that this photo was taken outside of a Wal-Mart, stealth was needed in taking this photo.
Luminosity: 7, One wolf on the t-shirt and the man is shopping along. Coincidence? I think not.
Veritas: 10, This is not a joke folks. Between the shirt and the dreamwolf-catcher stickers on the back of his car we know that this man is serious.
Ecosystem: 8, Arkansas. The only state that is 2 letters better than Kansas.
Sentience: 3, Between the Powerade Lite and bag of McDonalds I think we can tell that this wolf t-shirt wearer does not catch and eat his own meat.
How many wolf shirts?: 6, I’m actually going to go against the rating system here and give him slightly above average. There is only one shirt, but he is exemplifying the idea of the Lone Wolf with his t-shirt and his actions.
Ordnance: 7, neither amazing, nor terrible. The car stickers definitely give him a boost as he is representing wolves at all times.
Wildness: 3, not wild at all. Shopping cart, Wal-Mart.
Lupine-like: 7, White hair and beard, closely resembles the wizened Lone Wolf.
WOLVES HOWL: 65 points.
This shirt is no joke. No mother walks through a park with her son and wears this in jest. She is serious, and that is awesome. I also awarded major originality points for their hyper vigilance in pulling off this picture. Thumbs up dude is no more than 10 paces past her before his friend has taken the photo. There were also major points awarded for the wolf mother caring for her wolf pup. Caring for children and this mother uses her wolf shirt to show that she cares deeply about her progeny. Most of the points were lost because of the lack of wolf-like qualities. Wolves don't just stroll through the park on a Sunday afternoon. They prowl and tear shit apart limb by limb. It did receive a high 'Ordnance' score, because I think the most valuable lesson to be learned from this sighting is that we always have to be prepared to capture a wolf t-shirt on film. Constant vigilance. Well done kind sirs, well done.
Wolf shirt quality: Three wolf moon (TWM) is definitely a classic. Well designed and definitely well worn in this picture. If it weren't for TWM we wouldn't be where we are today. (10)
Originality: While TWM is a classic, it is not quite original. The kicker is that everyone is howling, let's see something fresh, something new. (4)
Luminosity: This strikes at the heart of how wolf t's make the world better. They bring people together and these fine young gentlemen show us exactly how that happens. (8)
Veritas: How true are they to the cause? There is only one shirt, and it looks like they are all about to laugh. I like the effort, but I need stronger commitment to give them more points. (5)
Ecosystem: The living room? Really?! How many deer can you hunt in the living room? How many elk will you cross sitting around inside? If you aren't going to go outside then at least make sure you are in a sweet building, like a castle. (3)
Sentience: The man wearing TWM is clearly the Alpha. The arms over shoulders, the organized howl. It reminds me of the pack mind. Think and act as one. Thank you for reminding us that wolves operate in such communal ways. (8)
How many shirts are there: So many options. Life is short gentlemen don't waste it wearing shirts with miniature logos of horses and alligators. Let out your feral self and buy that shirt. (1)
Ordnance: As this is the first submission their work goes a long way to help further the cause. Additionally, their sense of camaraderie and brotherhood strikes at the heart of 'The Pack' mentality. (9)
Wildness: If you look closely you will see a Raisin' Canes cup and a Camo beer can, these guys are definitely trying to make a case for being both 'cool and tough.' Additionally, a ratio of 4:3 for collared shirts: non collared shirts show that these guys not only work hard, but also like to take off that tie, unbutton that top button and get a little rowdy on the weekend. I salute you gentleman. Live the Dream. (9)
Lupine-like: The howl while somewhat unoriginal is well done. The Alpha male is clearly a long time wolf t-shirt wearer. If you look at the angle of his head tilt combined with the closed eye howl you can tell that he definitely practices in the mirror every morning after picking his nose hairs. Howl on brothers. Howl on. (7)
WOLVES HOWL Final Score: 64 Well done gentlemen. You have set our high score.