Wolf Pack for Life: NASCAR Edition

This past weekend I took part in one of America's great time honored traditions. I went to Richmond, Virginia to watch Denny Hamlin win the Richmond 400 NASCAR race. I know many of you are thinking 'NASCAR really?!' Many of you probably think of the following t-shirt when you think of NASCAR. After experiencing the full tailgate and race I will have to respectfully disagree with those who think that NASCAR is boring.

NASCAR is awesome. People are tailgating, playing cornhole, eating BBQ, and talking smack to people who support other drivers. The one thing that you need to know going in is that you have to have a driver. If you just attempt to watch the entire race you will be entirely lost, you also want have a cadre of fans to support you. You will additionally have someone to follow around in ovals the entire race. During most of the race I followed the '17' car. I chose this car for no other reason than the fact that it was my number during high school soccer, and well, it was the Crown Royal car.

The main reason that I have yet to chose the driver that I will support for the rest of my life is because I haven't yet determined which driver has the most wolf t-shirt wears in the last year. As a first timer I also didn't want to stick out from the crowd, so I attempted to dress most like what I perceived a NASCAR fan to be. I like to call it a cross between the Wal-Mart special and Bret from 'Flight of the Conchords'


It was a simple combination of wolf t-shirt (w/moon) self-made jorts, Navy hat and the exact same vest Bret is wearing in this great jump scene. While wearing this superb outfit I found it extremely easy to make friends. As soon as people saw the wolf t-shirt they knew that I was both cool and tough. Reflecting on this fact makes me realize that most people are likely very nervous to talk to someone wearing such attire. This is why most people, instead of approaching me, pointed to their friend and whispered something in their ear. The conversation probably went something like this:

Friend 1: Do you see that guy with a wolf t-shirt?
Friend 2: Yeah, he is the coolest and toughest guy here.
Friend 1: That's what I was going to say, do you think he would like to be the father of my children?
Friend 2: Not to be mean (hot friend), but you can't just walk up to a guy like that.
Friend 1: You're right, we should just take a picture and laugh to ourselves so that he thinks we're funny.
Friend 2: Great idea!

All that considered there was still one person who decided to approach me in my coolest and toughtest moment. While I was exiting the port-a-potty. A random man yelled 'WOLF PACK FOR LIFE' and proceeded to make a wolf hand signal. I echoed the greeting and we have since become pack brothers for life. Thank you wolf t-shirts, thank you for making new friends for me.
-One Man.