This entry is about beginnings and endings. It's also about life and trying to gain a greater understanding of why it is we are here on this Earth. It's an ending of my story. My story of wolf t-shirt conversion. It's also a beginning. A beginning of a new chapter of my life. A chapter where I acknowledge all parts of myself. It's also an entry about understanding. Wolf t-shirts have helped me learn what life is about and the fate that we sometimes have to accept when we live in this world.
As I returned from Scotland and Ireland I was starting a new job in Virginia. I began the process of moving into my new house and driving my belongings from my dad's house in Missouri where I had dropped my belongings before my travels. In some ways I was a new and better person. I had finally begun to accept the wolven part of my personality. In other ways I was in a state of flux. New house, new job, new lifestyle. When I first arrived in Virginia I continued in my denials of wolf 't' love.
It wasn't until I took a trip to the Virginia State Fair that I fully realized that I had to accept my fate. As humans we constantly try and fight those things that we are fated for. My parents named me Darius after the Darius I (King of Persia). My middle name is Philip for Philip II, King of Macedonia and father of Alexander the Great.
The above photo most aptly shows the characteristics and important parts of each of our beings. Darius I ascended the Persian throne through assassination. He claimed the throne and created a new monetary system, supported freedom of religion, but also lost the Battle of Marathon. Philip II is not well known for what he did, but he sired the world's greatest general. Alexander the Great. He was fated not to be great, but to put forth and father one of the greatest men in the history of the world. As you can tell from my parents choice of name, I too am destined for greatness. For the longest time I wanted to choose my fate I wanted to grasp my heart's desire and mold the world to my will. I quickly realized that this is not possible, I have to realize that there are certain innate parts about me that will pull out my greatness. The one part that I denied for so long, is my greatness. My love, devotion and consideration of wolf t-shirts.
The Virginia State Fair can most aptly be described by deep fried snickers bars and The Zipper. If you have never been, then I must sincerely apologize to you for being 'oh, so lame'. Deep fried snickers bars are easy to comprehend and understand. Hot fatty chocolate grease. Or HFCG for short. The Zipper on the other hand is completely ridiculous. I've attached an image that will hopefully illustrate the death contraption. Basically you are strapped into a metal cage that spins 360 degrees, once you are put in this cage The Zipper spins moves you up, down and then spins you around until you throw-up streams of rainbow vomit.
We were making our way around the fair. Riding rides. Eating food. Admiring the beautiful and wonderfully gorgeous people. As we were walking around we noticed dozens upon dozens of American flag t-shirts. I mentioned this to some friends and came upon the topic of wolf t-shirts. My friends immediately said they could see me wearing a wolf t-shirt. I finally realized it was time. It was time for me to buy a wolf t-shirt.
I went home and on October 2nd, 2009 I bought Three Wolf moon. I've attached part of the Amazon receipt that I received:
Delivery estimate: October 7, 2009 - October 8, 2009
1 "Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt - Black (Medium)"
Apparel; $16.49
I was still unsure of my purchase. I wasn't sure if my friends would respect me, or even hang out with me. I then sat down and penned the following message to let a large group of my friends know that I had finally purchased a wolf shirt.
Gentlemen,
Being that you are all important dudes in my life I feel the need to share this with you. After much consideration, soul searching and discussion with friends I have made an important decision. This is something that I have been running from for too long. You all have seen this as obvious connection for a long time. I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to realize how my personality is inextricably linked to this. It wasn't really until Simmons and I had some discussions in Ireland that I realized the importance of this thing. As Simmons can attest, while talking with random English men this topic came up. It even came up as I walked around the Virginia State Fair with Jimmie, Harrison, Lautzy and Davis. I'm different, people realize it, but that's okay. Even more recently in talking with Ander I have come to the conclusion that I can no longer deny this part of me. I realize that I have been incredibly vague up to this point, but it's because I need your support on this and ask that you still consider me to be a friend.
I went online today and ordered a wolf t-shirt. I will no longer be the man that denies the fact that I truly love these shirts. They are a part of my being, my soul, my natural self. I don't care if I get made fun of. I don't care if they are ridiculous. They are freakin' awesome. I hope they have American flags. I hope they howl at the moon. I hope that people look at me and say 'holy shit, that guy has a wolf t-shirt'...mainly because I already know my response. Hooowww's it going? I have a new mission in life, at least a partial mission, to make wolf t-shirts legitimately cool. I'm a Wolverhampton soccer fan and I will wear wolf t-shirts in public. I ask that you continue to hang out with me and of course, forward me any excellent t-shirts you find.
As you can tell it was a challenging email to write. I wanted to be myself. I was no longer going to fight. I was accepting my fate. I received several emails of support and really the rest is history. As I reopened this part of my life I began to remember more instances in my life where wolves had a strong impact in my growth and development. That, of course, is yet another story. Irregardless, I had made the leap of faith. Trusting in myself and my friends I had decided that it was time to accept my fate. Philip II's fate was to give rise to the world's greatest general in Alexander the Great. Darius I loss at Marathon showed the Athenians that Persians were not invincible. That defeat doesn't erase his accomplishments, his moves towards religious freedom and tolerance. I thought that my destiny was politics, or academia. I have realized that my destiny is wolf t-shirts. My destiny is inextricably linked with the wolves that howl at the moon, wolves that are back-dropped with American flags and much much more. I'm neither angry nor saddened by my fate. Rather emboldened. Invigorated that I have a new purpose in life.
-One Man. One Moon.
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